A look back at my 2003

[SummerStorm]

This past year has been full of many ups and downs for me. I lost my grandmother, my last living grandparent, in May. I was rewarded visitation with my child that started at 2 times a month supervised by my ex or his mother for about an hour a visit to what they are now..anywhere, anytime, as long as I want just not over night and NO supervision! I've had some serious quarrels and lost some wonderful friends due to my behaveion and poor judgement. I've trusted the wrong people. I've leared to NOT immedioately give my trust and/or heart to people that i THINK are trustable and won't hurt me. I've also learned that so very many times its best that I bite my tongue, shut my mouth and change the subject or just leave. I've learned tho I'm NOT perfect and have some HUGE flaws that basically I am a good person. As of lately I've trully come to the realization of just how often I open my mouth and insert my foot and/or say things that people take the wrong way that I later regret. If you're reading this and you're one of those people, I'm honestly sorry. I've realized also how poorly I deal with being overstressed. I've been very moodly to a few of my wonderful close friends and I know they're worried about me. I guess I'm so used to being the one who listens that I'm not good at talkin about what has me stressing. Either that or the fact that I find myself "venting" on the same couple people all the time so I decide to just deal on my own. I've learned that I need to put ME first , to work on nurturing me, take time for just me and my thoughts everyday. Be it just tuning everything out and having a long hot bubble bath, going for a walk, or turning everything off and quietly writing down all my thoughts and feelings. I've beomce away that thers is NOTHING wrong with telling people to step away, go away that I need some ME time. ANd its OKAY to not always be there for everyone the second they need or THINK they need me.

Realizing and going thur what I have has made me a stronger person and I'm aware of that. In the new year I am going to put me first followed by my girls if you or anyone don't like it....TOUGH SHIT!! II'm going to start ONLY taking blame for what I have done and NOT what people say or think I've done.

God bless you all through the new year!

Remember He never gives us more than we can handle.

Love you all
Tonya

[mRs.GaToR]

*HUGEHUGS* Happy New Year Summer!
Keep your head held high girl...and always
remember what ya posted up there...one thing
GaToR taught me...take care of me...then and only then will i be able to take care of others...and i have found out he is right...i hope you have a wonderful new year with your girls...they are doll babies girlie! i may not be around much anymore but that doesnt mean i dont ever think of ya...GaToR and i talk about everyone alot even if we arent online...and once i get a new computor that i can STAY online...*L*...i may be back more often *L*

[Tee Ehn]

Originally posted by mRs.GaToR:
one thing
GaToR taught me...take care of me...then and only then will i be able to take care of others...and i have found out he is right

<font size="4" face="Dark Bastion,Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">i have lots of things going on and something i have yet to make myself realize is just what you said, seeing that you wrote that just slapped me in the face with a reality check... Thank you.

<font color="#d5d8fd" size="1">[ December 31, 2003 11:20 PM: Message edited by: Tee Ehn ]</font>

[Briii]

Tonya...
It sounds like you've learnt alot. It also sounds like you've got your head in the right place, and ya know what? To hell with what everyone else has to say or think about you or your personal situation. Its not their concern. Its only yours... and yours alone. You are the one who has to live your life day in and day out. I think you sound very "together" and you're movin on down the "right" road. Just keep plugg'n... its a slow trek but you'll make it.
*hug*
Happy New Year...
Love,
Bri

[SummerStorm]

*smooches the MrS back*

[Canadian Chick]

Summer....I know we had that falling out earlier in the year and we are just now getting back the friendship we once had....
but please know that I have always wished you all the best with your girls, and in everything you do....
I'm proud of you [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[SummerStorm]

Thanks girl....

I'm glad to have your friendship back. I missed you bunches. And *pointing to my AV* you are one of the angels in my life. Thanks for everything*hugs you tight* [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[CanadianGirl]

T...keep your head up and be strong...I know its hard sometimes to be strong cuz we feel like everything is down falling, but you gotta do it NOT just for YOU, but for your children...there are gonna be some bumpy roads going down the ole bumppy road..I have been down that road many times...your a wonderful person T [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] ...dont let anyone tell you different *HUGS*

[SummerStorm]

MrS GaToR...I'm gettin there its soemthing i've said i need to do for the past few years but i always end up puttin everyone first again....this year....na uh....I'm gonna do it...

Tee....*hugs you all up* I think there are alot of people out there like that....

Bri...thanks so much....you're one of my angels...you're there when i need you...and you're right..screw everyone else*L*...this is MY life..i need to make it about ME....and my girls second....love yah bunches

[mRs.GaToR]

Tee???? i hope it was a good slap?? *HUGS* ya tight

SMOOOOOCHES Brii and Summer